Kept Woman

Good heavens! This week is very momentous for me. On Thursday I am moving in with the BDM (to newcomers to my blog, this stands for Boyfriend/Dom/Master because he very cleverly manages to take on all three roles). I'm very happy. I do try to be careful about posting personal information on my blog in case it's being read by arch-enemies or, you know, stalkers, but I'm just going to splurge all sorts of personal details now, because I have run out of self-discipline...

I've been living on my own in my flat in London for the last 2 years. And it's been very, very ordered and tidy. But rather lonely. There isn't really much space for the BDM here, but he's spent lots of time here, and I think that my neighbours might be a bit sick of us. I do try not to be noisy, but BDSM just IS noisy, so I think it'll be good to be in a house instead.

Our new house will have a DUNGEON, so that the BDM can use it as a studio. This is actually factually incorrect. The new house will have a STUDIO, which can be used as a dungeon when he's not working. But in my head, it shall not be a studio. Oh no. Flash heads are not sexy. Is a flash head even a real thing? Good lord, maybe I'll learn more about photography once I'm living in an actual photographer's house.

Anyway, it's not his house. We're buying it together. It's 2/3rds this house and 1/3 mine. And my 3rd shall be very very clean :)

And these are some things that I'm looking forward to. Sorry, they are not all kinky. But the picture I posted at the top of the post is, so if this is boring, just look at that for a while instead, and IMAGINE what the post might have been about....

1) Eating dinner with my boyfriend, at a dining table, instead of eating on my own, at my desk while trying to reply to emails.
2) Sharing a bed. Or a room at least, I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to sleep in an actual bed.... I wonder if I can have a sort of giant pet-basket?
3) Not having to schedule time together as though it's a military campaign. I'll just magically see him, every day (sort of - I'll still have to work away a lot)
4) Being able to have people to stay - I haven't got space at my flat to have more than one person at a time (or a very friendly couple) and I'm so looking forward to that!
5) Being a terrible, apologetic, submissive landlady. I hope my future tenant isn't reading this, because I can already tell I'm going to be a pushover. I've just bought her a new oven, entirely by accident and against my will.

Now I'm going to stop writing before I publish my address, bank details and mother's maiden name. Sorry for gushing, but I really am very excited!

A/a

Am Ghastly. And Tiny.

Happy days! www.northernspanking.com have just finished editing 'Ghastly Amelia-Jane', which is, to date, one of my very favourite shoots ever-in-the-world. Lucy kindly asked me what I'd like to shoot and I, with a general lack of professionalism, just reeled off what I was fantasising most about at the time. Which was;-

a) Being woken up especially in order to be punished. This is actually one of the few fantasies I have which I don't actually want fulfilled (PLEASE, BDM). I hate waking up, and am groggy and sad if made to do so. But the idea of being punished while that defenseless is hot. And I've always fondly imagined that I'd be super at withstanding interrogation with sleep deprevation thrown in. In my fantasies, I'm always very brave :)

b) Being punished by a private tutor. I like the combination of spanking and spelling tests very much (what a freak - I never revised for them when I was actually at school, and hated them very much - though not as much as times-tables. But now I LOVE them). I like trying to get the answers right. Watch the video and see if you can guess whether I'm being deliberately stupid, or whether, perhaps, I don't know very much about structural engineering....

The film is going up on Northern Spanking in several parts, starting this week. So go along and have a look. When I watched the final edit, I laughed a lot; it's proper spanking - and I loved Paul's efforts to be reasonable and patient - he puts in a a super perfomance.

Thank you, Lucy, for letting me shoot my fantasy! And thank you also for photographing me so that I'd look small. I really do, and it makes me so happy!

A/a

Bars and Stripes. And a Cold.

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At Home with Mr Electrician

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Actual Art

Ah ha. My blog isn't all about spanking, you know. Sometimes it's about other things. Like bondage. NO!!! Sometimes it's about whole other things, like normal photo shoots. And here is evidence of one, just in case you thought I'd completely lost perspective and wasn't doing any actual proper work any more.

Wrong! Part of my trip to America involved a week's journey with my photographer friend, who took the above pictures, and who's website can be found at www.xanaduimages.com

I've been working with him for a couple of years, so we decided to travel round California and Nevada and get some location work done. He's still working on the pictures, but I posted some of his studio pictures as a sort of warm up.

He's a lovely chap, and is very into trying to create images of strong looking women. Alas, I do not like to look strong. I want to look like a poor, sad, orphan. But I do try, because he's so nice.

I'll be working on his stand at the Erotica Exhibition in London this year, so do come along and see us and all our pictures. There'll be pictures of other models too, but I hide them under the table when he's not looking. Urgh, other models. Amelia-Jane hates those....

A/a

Not Clever Enough for a Blog

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I am the dom. The DOM!

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I am home (and I LOVE IT)

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Busy-of-the-world

I do apologise to everyone, I'm not really at home at the moment and I'm struggling with keeping up with computer-things... Maybe I should buy a tiny little laptop thing, and then I could post when I'm working away from home... Starting next week, I shall be in ;-

Fuerteventura
Sweden
Switzerland
Cologne
Paris
Milton Keynes :)
and Spain until mid August.

So if I'm rubbish at blogging, that will be the reason. I'll do my best though, cos I love it....

In the meantime, I want to sort out a couple of things for people who've kindly commented here :)

Firstly - I do apologise to anyone who's linked to me and I haven't returned the favour. If that's the case (or if you want me to link to you) please reply to this post, letting me know where your blog is, and I'll sort it out. Sorry, I'm still a bit confused by how it all works...

Secondly - I'm really sorry to anyone who's made enquiries about one-to-one spanking sessions. I'm afraid I don't ever do them, for a couple of reasons. Mainly, although I really like doing BDSM at work, I feel a bit weird if the person who's paying me is also the one doing the spanking - I like the top/Dom to have been hired to do the job, the same as me. I'm not sure why, but it feels like there's more professional distance built in that way. Also, since starting my relationship with the BDM, I try to keep some things just between us, and playing privately with anyone else would make me feel as though I was taking something away from our relationship...

I imagine that if I tried to do one-to-ones, I'd be a bit rubbish because I'd be trying to stay as arms-length as possible, which I'm guessing would be reeeeeeally tedious and not very hot. Whereas when I'm making spanking films I can throw myself into it because I feel really comfortable (except for my bottom, obviously...)

But thank you very much to everyone who's enquired, I'm very flattered :)

And thank you to everyone who's kindly offered to be my bodyguard. I feel very much in need of at least one and shall be organising a rota very soon. Obviously, I won't necessarily do what you tell me to, even if you think it's for my own safety. In fact, I shall probably ignore you and be extremely rude if you try to impose your rules on me. Hmmm.

Mwah, mwah :)

Ariel and Amelia (Ariel will treat the bodyguard very well, by the way, it's only Amelia who's planning to be difficult...)

Ouch, it HURTS!

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Bad Girl, doesn't even DESERVE a Blog...

In the olden days, before my blog started (in, umm, April...) I visited other people's blogs a lot (still do, natch...) and was very annoyed when they lazily didn't post anything new for days and days. And here I am, being even more annoying. Especially since I started rather well, I feel. But I did have flu, which gave me some time at home...

Here is a list of the things I've done since last time I posted. Some of them are interesting, some not. Please sort the list into two columns, clearly label them, and return it to me by Monday, class. (hmm, I've become a dom, or at least a teacher. How freaky - but it's almost midnight and I'm very tired, so I'm sure it won't last...)

1) Went to Devon, took all my clothes off, and made a travel documentary.
2) Danced on pointe for 2 hours (extremely badly) in Birmingham and hoped that it'd look ok for still pictures.
3) Watched Kill Bill with the BDM and wanted very much to be Uma Thurman. Especially in the training sequences when she keeps having to punch a block of wood, till she's like, BLEEDING.
4) Sadly said goodbye to the BDM and drove to Norfolk, where I spent the day being photographed with a selection of fruit and vegetables (I was particularly irritated by a large, flawless red pepper which I think upstaged me). Oh, lordy, this sounds rude. It was NOT a rude shoot, just a nice commercial shoot about eating more fruit and vegetables. Which I will not be doing, because I hate them....
5) Ooh, I have a fantasy about being made to eat my vegetables. Wheeee!!!
6) Met my cousin, who I haven't seen for 15 years. He turns out to be SUPER, and I hope he won't mind my saying this, but when BDSM came up in conversation, he turned out to be into LOADS of the same stuff as me which was lovely, interesting, and also made me wonder if all this stuff is usually hereditary? And he seems to have higher pain tolerance than me, which made me want to raise my game :)
7) Modelled for a 'lighting the nude' tutorial, run by a super photographer friend of mine. Which was entirely uneventful, except that I felt a bit sulky and didn't really do what anyone said...
8)Oh, gosh, there were more things, but I have to SLEEEEEEEEP. So shall write an ACTUAL post tomorrow :)

Amelia-Jane

The Hive of Activity

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Back Where I Belong

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Cinderella Syndrome

Hmmm, this is something I've thought about for a long time. And hoorah, I've got a blog so I can go on and on and on about it.

Since I've been a teenager, I've noticed a tendency in myself to enjoy life's dramas, especially if I'm the victim of bad circumstances or (even better) bad people. It's not that I enjoy having horrible things happen to me, it's just that I kind of (oh, lordy) enjoy the feeling of being rescued from the situation. Mmmm, especially by big strong men. And you need bad stuff to happen before you can BE rescued.

Now, this is all very dysfunctional, and I realised it wasn't very attractive, so I've really tried to stop WALLOWING when things go wrong. I thought it was just me; but when I started meeting other people in the BDSM scene, I realised there's quite a tendency in submissive girls (and maybe boys too) to relish being a victim. I noticed it so often that I started calling it (to myself) Cinderella Syndrome.

I think it's basically this; believing that, like Cinderella, your everyday misfortunes somehow make you more desirable to everyone else. And that everyone will want to know all about everything that goes wrong in your life, because it's actually terribly attractive to be a martyr. And that you don't need to take responsibility for making things better, you just need to wait to be rescued (like Cinderella by the prince). Now, it's very fun to be a victim in a scene, but when it spills over into real life, I'm worried that it might be a bit tedious.

Alas, just when I was feeling all EVOLVED, and as though I'm now immune to self-pity, the BDM (huh) pointed out that so far my blog has included;-

A post on how awful my flu is.
Another post about my flu.
A post about how much I hated being in charge of a shoot.
And.... a post about losing my diary.

And then he suggested that perhaps I might be suffering from a little bit of Cinderella Syndrome. Which seems a bit unfair, because he only even knows it EXISTS because I made up a word for it :) So I'm going to spend the week writing upbeat, happy posts about things I've enjoyed doing recently. Of which there are many, but I didn't want to show off.

And from now on, if I post gratuitously about how awful everything is, everyone is allowed to ignore me and/or call me Cinderella.

Amelia-Jane xx

I am a Disaster

Oh, for heavens sake. Today I had a day off for the first time in a few weeks (apart from the days I spent lying on my back, glugging Lucozade) and I had a super time on Oxford Street buying modelling clothes and eating cake with a lovely girlfriend. Then I went home and realised I'd lost my diary.

HORROR! HORROR! HORROR!

I have nine months of bookings in there, which I'll never remember on my own. And I'm not at all sure whether anyone who finds it will send it back to me, because I suspect it might make entertaining reading for someone with a non-kinky life.

I feel very sorry for myself.

But worst of all, the boyfriend/Dom/Master has been trying for months to make me zip up my bag when I'm out, because I'm always dropping stuff and inviting pick-pockets. And I have ignored him.

Brrrr.

I think he is very likely to punish me, and I think he might actually be right. This is a very poor end to the day, and I feel rather ashamed of myself for;-

a) Ignoring the BDM's very sensible advice.

b) Kind of lying to him earlier when he asked me if my bag had been unzipped when the diary went missing.

c) Oh, lordy; just losing the most important thing I could possibly have lost. Apart, possibly, from my head. Or the actual BDM. Or my virginity. Hmmmm.

Anyway, I shall post a picture now, to distract myself from the horror of this particular Wednesday. And hopefully to distract you too :)

My favourite games

Wheee! I'm off to shoot with www.northernspanking.com later today, and I'm so excited :) This is why I know I'm happier being a spanking model than a spanking producer - it's a lovely feeling, just having to turn up and act, really just like going to a friend's house to play, which I did a lot when I was a child. Here is a list of my favourite games which my sister and I made up;-

Witches' boarding school (hmmm, very much like Harry Potter, but we made it up first...)

Second World War (which involved us being very hungry evacuees and talking about powdered egg a lot)

Poorhouse (mmm, this involved us being horribly abused orphans, and eating crusts of bread)

WORKhouse (even worse than Poorhouse, we had to pull a plough, and had to collapse a lot from exhaustion. My sister didn't enjoy this game very much, but it was my favourite and I was always pestering to play it...)

Bomb. We had a lamp-post outside our house which ticked fabulously. We pretended it was a bomb, and took it in turns to tie each other to it, after which we had to escape. I was EXCELLENT at this game :)

So spanking shoots are really very similar to what I used to do just for fun. Except that there's actual spanking now, as opposed to imaginary cruelty. And it's my job. Hooray!

Now I must go and pack, so I shall post more when I'm home on Sunday. EXCITED!

Needing a Sanatorium

I am properly ill, it turns out. And how lovely that I've got a blog, otherwise I wouldn't have anywhere public to make a big fuss about the symptoms. I had a shoot yesterday which I couldn't cancel, and must have infuriated the makeup artist by blowing my nose and wiping off the makeup over and over again. She was very patient, and kept re-coating my nose in extra-thick foundation to hide the neon-glow.... And then she basically painted a whole different face on top of my one, and I looked fine in the pictures. Miraculous really - she even had something to stop my eyes being blood-shot. Have never modelled with flu before, am amazed how much a makeup artist can do to hide the evidence. We should all have one...

Is interesting that in bondage and spanking work, hardly anyone ever bothers with them. Gags tend to destroy makeup so I suppose it'd feel like a bit of a waste - and I've always been fascinated by what my hair does when I get spanked. It sort of re-arranges itself on my head and weaves itself into a weird kind of mat that sticks straight up. Which would be a total waste of anyone's hard styling work. I'd really love to have a stylist who'd ensure that I ended a spanking with my hair behaving like a lovely, shiny waterfall. Huh. And without my makeup smeared on the sofa.

I can't cope with being actually upright any more, so am going to lie down and drink some more Lucozade, which I'm heartily sick of now. I'm wishing that I belonged in an old fashioned girls' school story (not for the first time...) and that I could be sent off to a sanatorium to recover from my long, serious illness....

'No!' Cried Amelia-Jane, 'I simply must stay here and help the Upper IV to victory in the netball match against those beasts in Lower VB!'

The easy tears of someone who is not very well spilled down her pale cheeks, and Miss Newton knew that poor Amelia-Jane would not be playing netball again for some time. 'My dear, you've had a fearful illness, and added to that awful shock for you and Flynn last term, you're thoroughily exhausted. You'll need a good rest before you can come back to school - so we'll send you somewhere with good doctors who can make you well again'.....

Ahhhhhhhh :)

The Strength! The Grace!

Except - not really. I used to be a ballet dancer, before I got taller than all the men who were meant to be able to pick me up. This actually happened when I was about 12, but I soldiered on because I loved it so very much. And thank heavens I did, because it turns out that kinky people often have a very special place in their hearts for ballet dancers. Why? I do not know. Certainly dancing en pointe is supremely masochistic, in an not very hot, blister-y way. Maybe because ballet is all rarified and mannered, so thinking of a ballet-dancer being, well - DEFILED - for example, is rather interesting.

Anyway, being a bondage and spanking model has given me the chance to re-live all my ballet fantasies; and here is one of my favourite ballet/fetish shots, taken at Easter by www.johntisbury.co.uk

And here is the story. I arrived at his studio, and he kindly carried my suitcase upstairs while I said hello to his wife and his cat. He chose my outfit from the selection I'd brought (ballet skirt and pointe shoes) and I put them on while he made me a cup of tea. Still talking to his wife, I started down the stairs, holding my tea and wearing my pointe shoes. Then I fell down the stairs, throwing my tea at;-

a) The ceiling (where it dripped back down onto me)

b) The stairs

c) His wife

d) The cat

And then I cried, while they kindly mopped up all the tea, including the splashes which had fallen on my shoes. Fortunately, when I'd recovered a little, I was able to help clean the ceiling, because in pointe shoes, I was the only one who could reach.

Then he took pictures of my legs until my face was doing normal model-things again :) And here is the picture. Hope you enjoy it :)

Ariel (because there was no spanking in this story, only bondage)

Mmmm, Cake.....

I'm still testing what my blog can do, so this was an excuse for trying to post a picture. I'm not sure if this will count as obscene, or pornographic. If so, I think something bad will happen. I don't THINK it is though.

I am still ill, and have eaten nothing except Lucozade for 3 days. And I'm getting super-thin. And rather weak. Amelia-Jane can't come out under these conditions, she needs fuel in order to be bratty and demanding. And my wrists hurt when I type. And you can't EAT Lucozade, anyway, but I've lost the ability to write properly in English. Ooh, dear, my precious blog is going downhill, and it's not even a week old yet! I'm trying to use this picture as inspiration.... At the time it was taken I remember thinking the cake looked super (I took at bite out of one of the pieces of fruit cake, actually) but brrrr, nothing is working today....

Ooh, have just been properly self-obsessed on my blog. Wheeeeee! I promised myself I wouldn't, but I don't even care....

Amelia-Jane (suddenly emerging...) Mwah. MWAH!

I am not Sir Alan Sugar :(

And I really thought that maybe I could be. Having worked as a spanking model and often written my own scripts and sometimes kind of directed them, I thought maybe it was time to have my own website and to be an ACTUAL PRODUCER. My boyfriend/Dom/Master (haven't actually worked this out yet) is a proper successful bondage producer, so I've been watching him very beadily over the last few months and decided it didn't look too hard to do.

So having enlisted his help, I planned a two day shoot as a sort of experiment to see if I'd be any good at telling people what to do.

No, I am jolly well not.

Niki Flynn, like the Good Fairy of Spanking, offered to model so I could practice on her, and since I love acting all bratty and horrible when we're together, I though that'd be just super. I chose a super-lovely Top with years of experience, and a good photographer friend of mine offered the use of his beautiful spacious apartment. BDM (the boyfriend/Dom/Master) couldn't have been more helpful, doing the whole director of photography bit AND wading in front of the camera to be the Top on the second day. Even the location owner kindly offered to do some spanking for us (OUCH! Niki and I both regretted asking for his help - he was VERY enthusiastic, with a terrifyingly good technique for a beginner!)

But I'm afraid I kind of hated it. I couldn't concentrate on getting into character, which meant all the spanking hurt a LOT more than normal because I wasn't in the right kind of headspace. And I HATED, HATED, HATED telling the Tops what to do. And being in charge of how much Niki got punished REALLY freaked me out. I've seen her getting spanked and caned both on film (mmmm, am a bit of a Niki-stalker) and in real life, but as soon as it was my responsibility to make sure everything was ok, I lost my nerve and kept wanting to cut.

Basically I suppose I felt guilty, guilty, guilty for making people do what I wanted them to. And I've discovered how much I really love being employed by someone else - it makes me feel all safe and comforted, and, well, sub.

So I shall do something with the stuff we shot (some of it is absolutely SUPER, I'm particularly excited about the spanking music video we made) and go back to being a humble model.

I wonder if there are subs who really enjoy being the boss in their non-sexual life? I obviously can't cope at all, but surely some people can......

Amelia and Ariel have got a blog :)

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Ariel

Does it even work?

Testing 4 5 6 7 picture posts

Can we post a picture? Let's see if we can!

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