I am the dom. The DOM!

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I am home (and I LOVE IT)

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Busy-of-the-world

I do apologise to everyone, I'm not really at home at the moment and I'm struggling with keeping up with computer-things... Maybe I should buy a tiny little laptop thing, and then I could post when I'm working away from home... Starting next week, I shall be in ;-

Fuerteventura
Sweden
Switzerland
Cologne
Paris
Milton Keynes :)
and Spain until mid August.

So if I'm rubbish at blogging, that will be the reason. I'll do my best though, cos I love it....

In the meantime, I want to sort out a couple of things for people who've kindly commented here :)

Firstly - I do apologise to anyone who's linked to me and I haven't returned the favour. If that's the case (or if you want me to link to you) please reply to this post, letting me know where your blog is, and I'll sort it out. Sorry, I'm still a bit confused by how it all works...

Secondly - I'm really sorry to anyone who's made enquiries about one-to-one spanking sessions. I'm afraid I don't ever do them, for a couple of reasons. Mainly, although I really like doing BDSM at work, I feel a bit weird if the person who's paying me is also the one doing the spanking - I like the top/Dom to have been hired to do the job, the same as me. I'm not sure why, but it feels like there's more professional distance built in that way. Also, since starting my relationship with the BDM, I try to keep some things just between us, and playing privately with anyone else would make me feel as though I was taking something away from our relationship...

I imagine that if I tried to do one-to-ones, I'd be a bit rubbish because I'd be trying to stay as arms-length as possible, which I'm guessing would be reeeeeeally tedious and not very hot. Whereas when I'm making spanking films I can throw myself into it because I feel really comfortable (except for my bottom, obviously...)

But thank you very much to everyone who's enquired, I'm very flattered :)

And thank you to everyone who's kindly offered to be my bodyguard. I feel very much in need of at least one and shall be organising a rota very soon. Obviously, I won't necessarily do what you tell me to, even if you think it's for my own safety. In fact, I shall probably ignore you and be extremely rude if you try to impose your rules on me. Hmmm.

Mwah, mwah :)

Ariel and Amelia (Ariel will treat the bodyguard very well, by the way, it's only Amelia who's planning to be difficult...)

Ouch, it HURTS!

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Bad Girl, doesn't even DESERVE a Blog...

In the olden days, before my blog started (in, umm, April...) I visited other people's blogs a lot (still do, natch...) and was very annoyed when they lazily didn't post anything new for days and days. And here I am, being even more annoying. Especially since I started rather well, I feel. But I did have flu, which gave me some time at home...

Here is a list of the things I've done since last time I posted. Some of them are interesting, some not. Please sort the list into two columns, clearly label them, and return it to me by Monday, class. (hmm, I've become a dom, or at least a teacher. How freaky - but it's almost midnight and I'm very tired, so I'm sure it won't last...)

1) Went to Devon, took all my clothes off, and made a travel documentary.
2) Danced on pointe for 2 hours (extremely badly) in Birmingham and hoped that it'd look ok for still pictures.
3) Watched Kill Bill with the BDM and wanted very much to be Uma Thurman. Especially in the training sequences when she keeps having to punch a block of wood, till she's like, BLEEDING.
4) Sadly said goodbye to the BDM and drove to Norfolk, where I spent the day being photographed with a selection of fruit and vegetables (I was particularly irritated by a large, flawless red pepper which I think upstaged me). Oh, lordy, this sounds rude. It was NOT a rude shoot, just a nice commercial shoot about eating more fruit and vegetables. Which I will not be doing, because I hate them....
5) Ooh, I have a fantasy about being made to eat my vegetables. Wheeee!!!
6) Met my cousin, who I haven't seen for 15 years. He turns out to be SUPER, and I hope he won't mind my saying this, but when BDSM came up in conversation, he turned out to be into LOADS of the same stuff as me which was lovely, interesting, and also made me wonder if all this stuff is usually hereditary? And he seems to have higher pain tolerance than me, which made me want to raise my game :)
7) Modelled for a 'lighting the nude' tutorial, run by a super photographer friend of mine. Which was entirely uneventful, except that I felt a bit sulky and didn't really do what anyone said...
8)Oh, gosh, there were more things, but I have to SLEEEEEEEEP. So shall write an ACTUAL post tomorrow :)

Amelia-Jane

The Hive of Activity

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Back Where I Belong

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Cinderella Syndrome

Hmmm, this is something I've thought about for a long time. And hoorah, I've got a blog so I can go on and on and on about it.

Since I've been a teenager, I've noticed a tendency in myself to enjoy life's dramas, especially if I'm the victim of bad circumstances or (even better) bad people. It's not that I enjoy having horrible things happen to me, it's just that I kind of (oh, lordy) enjoy the feeling of being rescued from the situation. Mmmm, especially by big strong men. And you need bad stuff to happen before you can BE rescued.

Now, this is all very dysfunctional, and I realised it wasn't very attractive, so I've really tried to stop WALLOWING when things go wrong. I thought it was just me; but when I started meeting other people in the BDSM scene, I realised there's quite a tendency in submissive girls (and maybe boys too) to relish being a victim. I noticed it so often that I started calling it (to myself) Cinderella Syndrome.

I think it's basically this; believing that, like Cinderella, your everyday misfortunes somehow make you more desirable to everyone else. And that everyone will want to know all about everything that goes wrong in your life, because it's actually terribly attractive to be a martyr. And that you don't need to take responsibility for making things better, you just need to wait to be rescued (like Cinderella by the prince). Now, it's very fun to be a victim in a scene, but when it spills over into real life, I'm worried that it might be a bit tedious.

Alas, just when I was feeling all EVOLVED, and as though I'm now immune to self-pity, the BDM (huh) pointed out that so far my blog has included;-

A post on how awful my flu is.
Another post about my flu.
A post about how much I hated being in charge of a shoot.
And.... a post about losing my diary.

And then he suggested that perhaps I might be suffering from a little bit of Cinderella Syndrome. Which seems a bit unfair, because he only even knows it EXISTS because I made up a word for it :) So I'm going to spend the week writing upbeat, happy posts about things I've enjoyed doing recently. Of which there are many, but I didn't want to show off.

And from now on, if I post gratuitously about how awful everything is, everyone is allowed to ignore me and/or call me Cinderella.

Amelia-Jane xx

I am a Disaster

Oh, for heavens sake. Today I had a day off for the first time in a few weeks (apart from the days I spent lying on my back, glugging Lucozade) and I had a super time on Oxford Street buying modelling clothes and eating cake with a lovely girlfriend. Then I went home and realised I'd lost my diary.

HORROR! HORROR! HORROR!

I have nine months of bookings in there, which I'll never remember on my own. And I'm not at all sure whether anyone who finds it will send it back to me, because I suspect it might make entertaining reading for someone with a non-kinky life.

I feel very sorry for myself.

But worst of all, the boyfriend/Dom/Master has been trying for months to make me zip up my bag when I'm out, because I'm always dropping stuff and inviting pick-pockets. And I have ignored him.

Brrrr.

I think he is very likely to punish me, and I think he might actually be right. This is a very poor end to the day, and I feel rather ashamed of myself for;-

a) Ignoring the BDM's very sensible advice.

b) Kind of lying to him earlier when he asked me if my bag had been unzipped when the diary went missing.

c) Oh, lordy; just losing the most important thing I could possibly have lost. Apart, possibly, from my head. Or the actual BDM. Or my virginity. Hmmmm.

Anyway, I shall post a picture now, to distract myself from the horror of this particular Wednesday. And hopefully to distract you too :)

My favourite games

Wheee! I'm off to shoot with www.northernspanking.com later today, and I'm so excited :) This is why I know I'm happier being a spanking model than a spanking producer - it's a lovely feeling, just having to turn up and act, really just like going to a friend's house to play, which I did a lot when I was a child. Here is a list of my favourite games which my sister and I made up;-

Witches' boarding school (hmmm, very much like Harry Potter, but we made it up first...)

Second World War (which involved us being very hungry evacuees and talking about powdered egg a lot)

Poorhouse (mmm, this involved us being horribly abused orphans, and eating crusts of bread)

WORKhouse (even worse than Poorhouse, we had to pull a plough, and had to collapse a lot from exhaustion. My sister didn't enjoy this game very much, but it was my favourite and I was always pestering to play it...)

Bomb. We had a lamp-post outside our house which ticked fabulously. We pretended it was a bomb, and took it in turns to tie each other to it, after which we had to escape. I was EXCELLENT at this game :)

So spanking shoots are really very similar to what I used to do just for fun. Except that there's actual spanking now, as opposed to imaginary cruelty. And it's my job. Hooray!

Now I must go and pack, so I shall post more when I'm home on Sunday. EXCITED!