This month, a new aspect of my kink seems to be emerging. And very interesting it is (for me. It may not be very interesting for you, in which case I apologise unreservedly. My blog is awfully egocentric, I'm afraid). Now that I've started to write about it, I realise it's not actually entirely new, it's just that I'm concentrating on it more than normal, and all my fantasies are rather focused on it right now.
This month I am Being Brave.
It suddenly struck me that I do tend to behave in an utterly undignified way. Now, this is a great deal of fun, but I've started to feel very impressed with and envious of people who are a bit braver and more stoic than me (there are many of these people, alas). So lots of my fantasies involve being a highly trained military-something (hmm, haven't really researched this very thoroughly yet) and being magically tough enough to cope with all sorts of cruelty. I want to try to psych out whoever's punishing me by not responding; and while this is probably going to be impossible, it's awfully satisfying and exciting to try.
So here is a picture of me being Ever So Brave, confronted by a wicked doctor who has locked me up in his asylum. He's probably going to do terrible things to me, and of course I'm frightened, but I'm not going to tell him who I'm spying for (I want to be a spy as well as a military-something - sorry I forgot to mention that before) because I'm VERY tough.
Sadly, this week in my real life I have not been Ever So Brave. On Tuesday I had a super spanking shoot (with my friend P, who writes beautiful scripts) and I tried to be terribly self-possessed in our 'arrested abroad after being framed for drug-smuggling' storyline, but the false accusations made me cry (duh, not brave) and I don't think I took the 62 cane strokes in a very highly-trained way, to be perfectly honest.
But it's not about the winning, it's about the taking part. OBviously. I shall keep trying. Who Dares Wins, and all that. Oh, I want to be Andy McNab....
